Anger Management

My favorite website for parenting help is Empowering Parents. It is an amazing gift to parents struggling with various issues from minor to major. The 13-year-old in the house has turned out to be a kid who lashes out at school when she feels put upon. This is new for us. This week, I got a call from the Assistant Principal for 7th grade informing me that the art teacher sent her to the office for pouring a bin of water on a boy and his artwork and bopping him on the head with a book. Her side of the story: the boy has been telling her "You're crazy" and "You're insane" and "Get away from my table" whenever she approaches his table to talk to a friend. I am sure there is more to this story. She has had her issues for the past year or two, very angry about her epilepsy, and not tolerant of teasing at all. She will be going to detention tomorrow and accepts her responsibility for what she did. She tried to get the boy to admit his part but he would not. I called the AP after school and mentioned that there may be a few students willing to testify that they heard the name-calling. The AP was quite nice and invited her to come in and fill out a report and list the names of people who may have heard it. She has taken care of that and we will await equal justice.

Here is one of the great articles on the EP website: http://www.empoweringparents.com/A-Day-in-the-Mind-of-Your-Defiant-Child.php.

Turtle of the Universe, Part 2

After the homework was done, the turtle and its habitat were moved to the breakfast table. We all went about our evening preparations for bedtime. Fifteen minutes later, I stopped by the table to look at the turtle. I could not see a turtle. I called to the family to come help me find the turtle. Husband and daughters came quickly. They confirmed that, indeed, no turtle was visible. Cries of consternation and worry abounded. Would the turtle dry up and die before we found it?

We stood still for fear of trampling the turtle, and looked around. How far could a turtle go in 15 minutes? Older daughter said we should look for wet spots. Bending close to the table and looking sideways, I detected about six inches from the side of the plastic container a round water spot the size of a quarter surrounded by several little drops of water. Turtle prints: round underside plus feet! About an inch away was another turtle print, with a little less water. It seemed that we had found the trail. Our older daughter looked in a logical line from the smaller print, and let out a victory "Aha!" The turtle was sitting in a hollow of a plastic storage bag that was sitting on a chair beside the table.

Turtle was returned to its habitat while we hastily prepped a new one with higher sides. Older daughter texted a friend and asked her to look for her family's discarded aquarium and bring to us the following day.  More water was requested by the younger daughter, and we realized that perhaps our salt-softened water might not be good for a fresh water turtle. My dad, who had kidney problems, would always get distilled water to drink when visiting us to avoid the salt. So new water was taken from the outside hose, heated a bit on the stove, and added to the new container. A few more rocks were gathered from outside to provide a higher resting spot in the higher water. Younger daughter placed the turtle into the escape-risk-reduced container. We surveyed the scene, watching as it swam vigorously to the side and tried to climb up. It could not climb up in this one. Whew! A makeshift screen was placed over the new habitat as extra insurance.

What a scare! We reflected on the responsibility of taking in a wild animal, small and vulnerable, out of its element, and trying to make it live in our home. Did we have a right? Should we set it free? We laughed together about the Olympic Athlete Turtle Stunt, glad that we would not be finding a dried out turtle in our home. We would have felt guilty and quite sad to have brought it in from the dry hard street, saving it from being crushed by cars, only to ultimately be responsible for its death by dessication in our home, however welcoming we had tried to be. Everyone headed for bed. And the next morning, the turtle was still there, the first thing we all looked for upon rising and heading into the kitchen.

Driving later that morning, I turned on the radio, and was very amused to find out that the song playing was by a bluegrass band called Trampled by Turtles. It occurred to me that rather than us trampling upon the turtle, this little delicate animal being, our hearts were being trampled upon by it. I am sure our hearts are covered with little wet turtle prints now. May the experience make us kinder than ever.

The Turtle of the Universe

We found a turtle on Thursday.

My older daughter and I took the dogs for a walk and my husband joined us. We did one of our usual rounds, taking us westward down our street onto a greenbelt jogging trail, through a small woods, and out onto a culdesac.

After we turned the corner onto another street to return home, my daughter stepped off the sidewalk to walk in the street. It was not her usual mode. A few steps later she stopped and exclaimed, "Oh! Look!" We stopped and looked.

She stopped and picked up something small beside the curb that was hidden from our view from our perspective on the sidewalk.

We peered down as she reached out her hand. There was a tiny turtle wiggling on the palm of her hand. We oohed and ahed over this cute little creature as it paddled its leglings against her skin.

"Should we take it to the pond? Should I check with some of these homeowners to see if they are missing a turtle?" she asked.

I supported the pond idea.

"But maybe we should take to S [her younger sister]. She doesn't have a pet of her own."
Many thoughts crossed my mind. Our youngest had developed epilepsy less than two years ago, at age 11, at the same season of entering puberty. Much turmoil ensued for a time. She had wanted a seizure dog if the medications didn't work, and had then wanted a ferret. Her older siblings had each a dog of their own.

I liked the take-to-sister idea. Although I liked it, I also imagined the ensuing expenses and time involved in taking in an animal. "How about if you check with the house next to us and if they say no we take it to your sister."

She checked with one homeowner who said they were not missing a turtle. But they'd be happy to take it if our other daughter didn't want it.

And so we took the turtle home. And our older daughter gave the turtle to her sister. And this daughter was ecstatic. She cradled the turtle and cooed over it and squealed like a little kid.
We found a Tupperware for it and set it up with water to swim in, rocks to rest on, and a few pieces of lettuce.

After 30 minutes, we had the turtle named and placed in its temporary habitat on the dining room table keeping her company while she was doing her homework. Our daughter looked up at us and smiled and said, "I'm happy."